Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Magical Punky Genie

You have been granted three wishes by the Magical Punky Genie.

*begins seductive belly dance*

What are your three wishes?


At 9:27 AM , Blogger Tamara said...

*drools, forgets to make wishes*

At 11:15 AM , Blogger Higgy said...

1 - wishes that Punky keeps doing that belly dance...

well, ok - might get tiring after 10 or 15 years or so. Better think of something else.

1. Lasting world peace.
2. A healthy and happy life for me, my family and friends.
3. I'd keep the last one around for emergency purposes. Boring, but it's early in the morning...

At 12:16 PM , Anonymous Steve Martin said...

If I had one wish that would be granted by the Magical Punky Genie, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. If I had two wishes that would be granted by the Magical Punky Genie, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account. You know, if I had three wishes that would be granted by the Magical Punky Genie, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. And if I had four wishes that would be granted by the Magical Punky Genie, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it. Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth! So -- we reorganize! Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

At 12:34 PM , Anonymous boo augustus said...

Three wishes, hmmm. And I assume you can't use the third wish to wish for three additional wishes. That always seems to end badly.

I'm also going to assume the Magical Punky Genie isn't one of those jerky spirits who, for instance, grants you wish for a million dollars by collecting letting you collect on the life insurance policy on your spouse, because that's just mean.

So . . .

Wish, the First:

A long and healthy life for me, my family and friends. Notice I didn't say happy. Figure you have to have a little sadness and angst, otherwise, what would you have to bitch and moan about to you old, healthy firends. Immortality is also an interesting option and I am tempted, but I think that wish would require alot more though and introspection.

Wish Secundum:

Irresistable skills of persuasion . . . that I can turn on and off at my leisure. I want to be able to convince anyone to see anything my way and to agree with me, regardless of how absurd. I think I could have alot of fun with Donald Trump and Paris Hilton with this wish. And it's probably easier than wishing fo infinite wealth, which you'd probably be stuck managing. With my powers of persuasion, I'd just get comped everywhere. Heck, maybe I could even bring about world peace.

Wish III:

The ability to pick-up and play any musical insturment and to read any music.

At 12:36 PM , Anonymous boo augustus said...

Now ask us what our specific superpower would be if we were to become a superhero. Or better yet, a Wonder Twin power.

At 12:54 PM , Blogger Tamara said...

*snorkity* @ Steve Martin

I wish for:

First: Happiness! All the time! Who cares about personal growth; I'm happy! You're killing yourself in ten minutes? Sorry to hear it, but I'm still so happy! Happy happy! Me! The girl who wished for happiness! So! Happy!

Second: Happiness for everyone else! YAY!

Third: SweeTart Shockers sold in various one-flavor rolls. No, wait! Not "sold"! Given away to me for free, forever!

At 3:05 PM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

Steve - Porizkova - and you're welcome.

okay.. now it's my turn..

1. My health and happiness seem to have been covered by Higgy & Kingw (thanks guys!), so just more of the same for the people that I know that they don't.

2. That something is invented to prevent politicians passing assinine laws or spending money on things that make them comfortable, look good or give them an advantage, but are of zero help to their constituents.

my third wish was gonna be George Clooney to be at my bidding, but I decided that this was a tad shallow (I know .. no one said we were about depth here, but there's somedays that it would be nice..) soooooooooo...

3. That I have the wisdom/insight to recognise my soulmate when and where I find him.

All of this has reminded me of a joke. A guy walks into a mall with his arm around an ostrich. This attracts the attention of a security guard who starts to follow them. They walk into a store and look at plasma televisions. He says to the ostrich "This looks like a good television. What do you think?" and the ostrich nods. So the man walks up to a salesperson and says "We'd like to buy that plasma tv please." The salesman says "That will be $1497.53 plus tax". The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount in cash, and hands it over without even checking. He arranges delivery, and then walks to the food court. He orders a meal for himself and water for the ostrich. "That will be $7.38 sir" says his server. He reaches into his pocket, brings out the exact amount and hands it over. After their meal, they go to a few more stores and the guard notices the same thing happening. The "couple" look around, discuss things, then the ostrich nods and when he goes to pay, the man is always able to give exact change.
The guard's curiousity gets the better of him and he goes up to the man and says "I don't understand. I've been following you around all day and you always have the exact change for what you want to buy, and you've brought an ostrich in here that you talk to. What's going on?" The man said "Several years ago I rescued a genie from a bottle. She granted me two wishes. My first wish is that for the rest of my life, if I ever wanted money for anything, I'd be able to put my hand in my pocket and have the exact change right there. *Zap!* and it was done." "And your second wish?" asked the guard. "My second wish was for a chick with long legs, big breasts and a big butt who agreed with everything I said."

At 3:24 PM , Anonymous boo augustus said...

See, that's just mean.

But on the brighter side Kafelani, if I get my wish, I'll have a talk with George Clooney for you.

At 3:49 PM , Blogger punky said...

Funny story (kind of) about how you have to be careful what you wish for ...

About a month ago I said to a friend "I want a fairy tale life!". Since I was asking the universe for stuff, I figured, why the hell not, right?

Today, I get this email ...


Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy "Will you marry me?" The guy said, "No" and the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, stayed skinny and watch whatever she wanted on tv.


clearly the universe has a sense of humor.

At 4:47 PM , Anonymous boo augustus said...

I've always appreciated Stephen Sondheim's take on the faerie tale ending . . . especially when we learn the princes were raised to be "charming," not "sincere."

At 6:30 PM , Anonymous kingw said...

At least one of my wishes would be for a party for all of the people I have met here and at Dave B's blog. The others are boring

Live closer to my my second best friend (my wife being the best) he is in Calgary I am in Seattle

Never to have to worry about money, not necessarily lots of money, but to be sure I have a job to make what I make now and enough to live on when I am retired.

At 6:47 PM , Blogger Mad Scientist said...

Mike Weasel is my one an only wish. I have him so I pass my three wishes to all of you.

At 7:24 PM , Anonymous boo augustus said...

yeah, three more wishes! thanks mad!

so, i want to be able to converse with the animals.

At 7:52 PM , Anonymous Sallyacious said...

1) To have the body I had when I was 27. (original knees, lack of fat, all my teeth, etc.)

2) A permanent boost to my confidence so I can do all the things I want to do but don't believe I'm good/deserving/smart enough to do.

3) A pool party on the perfect Sunday afternoon, when the beer tastes right and no one gets sunburned and the snacks are exactly what you want/need. Where the daylight lasts for roughly 36 hours and the music is ideal for the mood. And anybody who wants to attend can attend and will find great conversation when they get there.

At 9:00 PM , Blogger punky said...

OK ... I'm totally asking myself for these three wishes ... because I'm the genie and I can do that!

1. I want to be able to fly.

2. I want all cakes, cookies, candy, baked goods, breads and other yummy carbs to be calorie free whenever I consume them!

3. I want to be able to sing beautifully.

The rest of what I desire I am able to get simply through my thoughts and effort, so I won't waste my wishes on them. :)

At 9:01 PM , Blogger punky said...

Boo is a wish hog!

At 10:20 PM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

aawww Boo, thanks!

And Kingw.. make sure the party's on a yacht (or possibly a cruise boat) in international waters so we're not subject to any pesky laws, would ya? Thanks, you're a sweetie!

At 8:10 AM , Anonymous Jeff Meyerson said...

Nice, mad.

I know the "three more wishes" thing is futile so I wouldn't even go there.

1. That health & long life thing has always been my #1 wish, so I'm not copying you guys. Really.

2. Money. Enough so I don't have to worry about running out but can also give to my nieces and nephews and people I care about who need it.

3. What the heck. I was going to save one like Higgy but I'll go with George Clooney for Kaf.

At 2:04 PM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

Jef, a couple of people here have wished it for all their friends, so you're covered. You get wish #1 back.

*sniffs* and Thanks!

*checks bedroom* He must be arriving later.


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