Friday, September 08, 2006

Story Time

I start a story, you add to it building block style.

The sun was just beginning to rise as I strained to open my eyes. In the darkened corner of the room I noticed a man watching me. In his arms he was holding a duck ...

Ok ... go!

UPDATE: I'm not throwing y'all a new question until you've worked together to get this story up to 50 comments! Ha!

UPDATE 2: come on ... you guys are so close ... get creative ... I have new questions waiting to be posted!!

53 Comments:

At 11:09 AM , Anonymous mr.fisher said...

the size of a baby elephant. I've heard of Emotional Support Animals before, but Good Lord! Emotionally, he may be well on his way to recovery, but if he keeps lugging around 200 lbs.like that, the poor chap could be dead before sundown. It'd serve him right though. Anyone who purposely makes me crap myself when I wake up, should die a most fowl death. Then rather abruptly.......

 
At 11:22 AM , Anonymous Dan said...

the duck began quacking incessantly, and the strange man just stood there smiling, watching me rather intently as if he was waiting for me to do something. after a couple of seconds of being immersed into a quack-mire (haha!) of audibly irritating proportions, i lept up and.....

 
At 3:32 PM , Anonymous Sallyacious said...

began quacking back. It was oddly soothing, this duck conversation. I'd never before realized how laid back ducks are. I could have kept on for much longer, when the man suddenly said,

 
At 5:25 PM , Anonymous kingw said...

"Wanna buy a duck?" I am a little down on my luck. I could let you have him for a buck. He is after all a magic duck. I got him from

 
At 7:48 PM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

Dr Seuss's factory clearance sale.
I looked a bit more closely at the duck, thought for a moment and said "He's a very nice duck, but is he available in blue?"
"No" said the old man, "but you can buy a can of paint and fix that easily." So I reached into my pocket for a dollar, and found

 
At 12:13 PM , Anonymous Bismuth said...

...two dollars! "I'LL TAKE TWO!" I said triumpantly. A dark scowl appeared on the man's face as he spat back "I've only got one, you...

 
At 3:28 PM , Blogger KDF said...

greedy duck hoarder!" Sam I Am was there, trying to sell passersby on the benefits of eating green eggs and ham in a house with a mouse. I offered him my extra dollar, and mentioned that I kept goat in my boat. He became visibly agitated, began shaking, and said...

 
At 9:47 PM , Blogger bbescuela said...

don't hop on my pop, you cheap SOB! And give me that goat, and get your boat out of my moat! I took my one buck duck and left with a...

 
At 2:21 AM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

Canárd Federál tucked under my left arm and a bag of oranges in my right hand. I had plans for him tonight. Plans that included a can of Cool Whip, Gertrude Wankmuscle and

 
At 10:16 AM , Blogger Higgy said...

several screaming monkeys. However, having a 200 pound duck under a left arm makes it difficult to do anything else, so I fell down the stairs outside my room. My oranges went everywhere, and my can of Cool Whip went flying

 
At 1:35 PM , Anonymous kingw said...

and was caught by a Brazilian Supermodel. Who said they needed directions for

 
At 2:50 PM , Anonymous Jeff Meyerson said...

waxing George Clooney. But then he hacked her to death with a kitchen knife and...

 
At 6:00 PM , Anonymous jamester said...

before I knew it the duck was a material witness in the trial of the century. Pundits were all over the airwaves trying to predict what the duck might testify to. But none of them predicted...

 
At 6:21 PM , Blogger Leetie said...

that the duck would be wearing a jilbab! "WTD?!" exclaimed the pundits. The justice, upon seeing the be-burqa'd duck said...

 
At 10:02 PM , Anonymous neophyte said...

"You can't wear lime green tennies after Labor Day! This is a Prime example of...

 
At 2:23 AM , Blogger Graz said...

...giving prime examples! Even though a lesser example would have sufficed, here we go just giving away prime examples all higglety pigglety! Like they don't even cost a dime! Why, in my day, we knew when to use a prime example. We savored them 'cause we never knew when we would be able to get another. By the way, nice ascot you have there." The justice then flashed his Official Dick Tracy's Little Detective Badge and propositioned the court reporter. After seeing this, the duck....

 
At 3:49 AM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

threw his pants on Lab's lawn, quacked in a jeering tone of quack and ran, okay, waddled away.

Coming to the sudden realisation that his goose was cooked (he returned to his home in time to see her served up with a lovely cranberry glaze and some sweet potatoes on the side), he burst into tears. What would he do without his sweet Goosey Lucy?

Why, he did what all ducks do in times of crisis such as this one..

 
At 7:13 AM , Blogger Leetie said...

he picked-up the plate of foie gras, held it up over his little head and shouted, "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not gonna eat this anymore!"

He threw the plate, sending the blob of foie gras tumbling through the air, dripping it's greasy gooseness right into ...

 
At 7:56 AM , Anonymous Jeff Meyerson said...

a huge pile of Korouvian produce, which immediately...

 
At 8:06 AM , Anonymous kingw said...

started to move. For it had been irradiated in an freak grocery accident. It was now a new lifeform. It intended t make its first meal..

 
At 10:51 AM , Anonymous Mr.Fisher said...

the pool boy.
I mean who doesn't love to eat pool boys? But the blob is hungry, it won't stop there. It must sustain it's appetite. I see it look direclty at me through my bedroom window, with those damned drippy eyes. I let out a shriek. I was still in my birthday suit. One might get the impression that .....

 
At 1:26 PM , Anonymous Mr.Fisher said...

the old adage was true. You know the one that goes something like: "If you play with yourself too much you could wake up one day to find strangers with ducks and such in your bedroom, which will later, no doubt, turn into some sort of oozing blob." Yeah, I thought you did. But, the thing is. Well, it's not true. There's a perfectly good reason for all this. My therapist says .....

 
At 2:26 PM , Anonymous kingw said...

Sometimes a duck is just a duck, and a blob is just a blob. I think the important question is why are you looking for meaning in a duck and a blob? Another important question is where are your ...

 
At 2:28 PM , Blogger Leetie said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 2:30 PM , Blogger Leetie said...

rubber gloves and gorilla bedroom slippers? You were pretty attached to them the last time you were here.

I told him that I had turned them in for...

 
At 2:52 PM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

a PVC thong, whips, nipple clamps and a job as Wolie's maid (the whips n clamps were part of the work uniform, the thong's just a personal preference).

He said that it was probably a good thing I was getting out of the house. I told him she kept me chained in the basement, which is why all our appointements were conducted by phone these days.

Still, he said it could be worse.. I could

 
At 5:55 PM , Anonymous kingw said...

be Mel Gibson's Jewish bartender. But being Wolfie's maid does get you exposed to some exotic sights, especially now that she ..

 
At 6:16 PM , Anonymous Sallyacious said...

works for the Federal government. You have no idea the things that go on inside the US Treasury Building. Why just the other day...

 
At 5:17 AM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

GWB and the Big Treasury Boss (as opposed to the Small Treasury Boss, who's only 4 ft 8) dipped themselves in hot fudge sauce and rolled themselves through a stockpile of coins reminiscent of Scrooge McDuck's bank vault. Bidding for the surveillance footage starts at $10 million.

Then there was the time..

 
At 8:18 AM , Anonymous kingw said...

the tour bus came through. It was from Uncle Mort's Home for the Elderly Midget. Of course they don't like being called midgets, they prefer to be called vertically challenged. But then we all want to be called something different, me I want to be called...

 
At 8:26 AM , Anonymous Jeff Meyerson said...

Shirley, but that's another story.

So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Wolfie, the nipple clamps, and GWB in a vat of chocolate.

So Laura walks in at that moment and says...

 
At 8:34 AM , Anonymous Targetgirl said...

"You ruined my chocolate vat, you damnable cretins!!!"

Then she said, "Ah, what the hell..." and stripped down to her bra n' girdle set, and jumped in to join them. Just then...

 
At 9:57 AM , Blogger Higgy said...

I woke up screaming!

The thought of everyone in their skivvies and covered in chocolate was enough to wake me from my ketamine-induced coma. However, there really WAS a man in my room with a large duck under one arm. Turns out he was...

 
At 10:15 AM , Anonymous insomniac said...

...the illegitmate great-grandson of Groucho Marx and he was giving me the duck in his will...

"Do I have to say the secret woid?"

He said...

 
At 10:27 AM , Anonymous Sallyacious said...

"If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you." Which left me sweating in a cold fear. I'm not psychic, after all.

But then I thought, "Maybe the duck is!" It was looking at me very intently and seemed to be trying to bill a sentence at me...

(It's a duck, so obviously it can't mouth a sentence.)

 
At 11:27 AM , Anonymous I am tired of the story blog said...

When all of a sudden, it blurted out, much to incredible volume and exhasperation....


AAFFFLLAAACCCCC!!

His exclamation seemed to go on for eternity until...

 
At 12:01 PM , Blogger Higgy said...

I punted his fat ass out the window.

Then, I turned to Ichihiro Marx (for 'twas his name) and uttered the ever-popular line...

 
At 12:13 PM , Blogger Higgy said...

"Won't somebody PLEASE help me get this thread up to 50 comments so that Punky will post another question?"

But it was not to be. Ichihiro - or Itchy, as he liked to be known, had a pressing engagement at...

 
At 1:29 PM , Anonymous kingw said...

his dermatologist. It seems he may have come in contact with a certain plant in the woods will looking for musrooms. Not just any mushrooms, these were special and going to be used in an experiment to determine...

 
At 2:19 PM , Anonymous good god enough of this blog said...

the mushrooms with the highest level of hallucineogen power possible, and further more be turned in to a precription drug and distributed to the masses. All was going well until the scientists came running in with beakers in their hands and....

 
At 2:46 PM , Anonymous targetgirl said...

...socks on their naughty parts a'la the Red Hot Chili Peppers circa 1987! They had taken the mushrooms and made themselves the subjects of the 'experiment,' so now they were tripping balls!!! They ran madly through the room, hooting in their psychadelic pandimonium, when...

 
At 2:51 PM , Anonymous is this over yet said...

Suddenly U2 busted through the door and began preaching world peace, brotherly love, and all that stuff in their U2 holier than thou way. As if the Red Hot Chili Peppers with socks on their ding dongs and U2's evangelists attitudes werent enough....

 
At 2:57 PM , Blogger Leetie said...

Sinead freaking O'connor walks in and opens up a can of SPAM. She starts eating the spam and says, "

 
At 3:01 PM , Anonymous almost there said...

my shoes smell like purple rainbow skies." which ultimately got a lot of strange looks, and engaged the topic of conversation into the realm of the existence of creativity. now obviously whoever chose to ponder if creativity really exists or not didnt consider thinking about....

 
At 3:04 PM , Blogger Leetie said...

living in a pineapple under the sea. Of course, you'd have to supply your own breathing apparatti and such. So it was recommended that they get all the surviving members of "Band Aid" together to do a rendition of Tito Jackson's greatest hit. The proceeds of the album will be donated to...

 
At 3:08 PM , Anonymous jess built my hotrod said...

Michael Jacksons sex change operation, since we all know everyone is tired of that freaky guy hogging the...

 
At 3:10 PM , Anonymous kingw said...

Save the Squirrels, an organization founded after the famous Dave Barry made clear the danger they presented to the American way of life, causing a squirrelcide frenzy of ...

 
At 3:15 PM , Anonymous COME ON said...

eating and hording nuts. The most trusted and respected news source in the world, Weekly World News, have reported that squirrel-consumption of nuts and wood-constructed homes is up nearly...

 
At 3:17 PM , Anonymous kingw said...

caused primarily by the use of peanut butter for caulking. A spokesman for the Builders association stated..

 
At 3:19 PM , Anonymous is it over? said...

"None of this would have ever happened if the quota for comments wasnt as high as it was. We have a real crisis on our hands....God help us...."

 
At 3:20 PM , Anonymous kingw said...

Enough of this You get what you pay for. The end

 
At 9:13 PM , Blogger punky said...

*applauds wildly*

 
At 2:30 AM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

Whew!

 

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