Sunday, July 23, 2006

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

If you had the ability to erase from your mind a particularly painful experience so that the memory would no longer exist, would you?

Does time heal all wounds?

Willie Nelson once wrote "Forgiving you was easy, forgetting seems to take the longest time". Is it possible to ever really forget?

p.s. stop sending me prozac, kids ... it's just a question ;)


At 11:28 AM , Anonymous kingw said...

No. I don't think we would be healthy remembering only good things. It is the combo of good and bad that makes us grow. Hopefully there is a balance.

Time does not heal anything. Dealing with it every day makes it bearable. Some wounds don't heal.

If you forget you lose a part of youself.

Kind of a philosophical quesion here.

At 12:48 PM , Blogger Sarah O. said...

1. Sure. It's not like we've only had one bad experience to learn from.

2. Hmm. Old wounds tend to leave nasty scars.

3. Big things, not completely. Unless you have Alzheimer's which is not a good thing.

At 1:19 PM , Anonymous insomniac said...

what was the question?

At 1:59 PM , Anonymous Sallyacious said...




At 1:59 PM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

*snork* at Insom.

No, although there are a few just plain embarassing ones that I wouldn't mind erasing (as long as they were also erased from the minds of all others involved)

No, but the scarring process teaches you things that you'd never learn otherwise.

I think that with complete, genuine forgiveness, you really do forget, and I've experienced this. It doesn't mean that you weren't hurt, or that the thing didn't happen, it just means that your love for the person you've forgiven is stronger than the power of the pain/anger they've caused. I can say with all honesty, that thinking back on this particular experience, I know (in my head) that I was hurt (and quite badly), but when this person came to me apologised totally genuinely and asked for my forgiveness, I could't summon up an ounce of hurt or pain from the experiences that I'd been through with them. I remember the incidents, still, but there's no emotional context with which to judge them. There's no power, no anger, no sadness anymore. Simply a good relationship.

At 2:04 PM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

that post needs a little more punctuation than it's currently getting.

NTTAWWT. Okay, so there is. Otherwise there wouldn't be a second post from me to point out my error. Please insert , , in the previous post, anywhere you like in my run-on sentence

At 6:06 PM , Anonymous boo augustus said...

Punky, has the Prosac perscription run out again?

At 7:08 PM , Blogger punky said...

I think it's Prozac, no? I'm not depressed, Boo Boo Kitty, honey ... I'm just curious. I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind the other night and it got me a-thinkin' ...

I think it's a good question ... so throw me some answers would ya?

At 8:34 PM , Anonymous boo augustus said...

Okay, no more Prosac, but I'm sending you copies of It's A Wonderful Life and Auntie Mame.

In the meantime . . .

1. Erase? What we forget we're doomed to repeat, to every season, what doens't kill us, etc. So, I guess no.

2. Well, if the shark actually ate the arm, time isn't going to do alot to fix that one.

3. See item 1. We probably shouldn't completely forget. I mean, how boring would E!True Hollywood Story/VH1 Behind the Music epsiode be if there's no bad stuff and heartache.

So buck up little camper. Don't make me come up there and take you out for a night on the big City.

At 9:57 PM , Blogger Sarah O. said...

Gracious, you say Prozac like it's a bad thing! :-)z

At 9:58 PM , Blogger Sarah O. said...

Hmm. I don't think I've ever typoed a smily face before. :-)

At 11:39 PM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

Prosac could be a pill for men who are very fond of their......

At 8:02 AM , Blogger punky said...

This weekend I happened to listen to a CD someone gave me about a year ago. It had been a long time since I had listened to it, and even longer since I have seen the person who gave it to me. I put it on the CD player and thought nothing of it. After the first few songs I suddenly was right back where I was a year ago. Sweet Jesus, was that ever a dark time in my life. I didn't realize how dark until it was juxtaposed against my life now. It was scary how quickly the CD took me back there. As soon as I got home, I took the CD, drew a little skull and cross bones on the cover (not really) and then placed it in a box marked "Pandora" (really) and put it away, forever. I considered throwing it away, but it felt too negative. So anyhoo ... that plus the movie obviously triggered the question about being able to erase memeories from your mind.

At 9:01 AM , Anonymous Jeff Meyerson said...

Erase from the memory a particularly painful one? No. I'm content to leave them back there where they are.

Time heal all wounds. For the most part, yes, but not all of them. I find I'm much better able to let things go now, but - whether they are closer or more painful or what - Jackie has been unable to do that with regards to her sisters. Bummer.

Possible to forget? Yes, believe it or not, it is. Sometimes, like Punky's CD experience (GNFA Ride at DisneyWorld - (tm)?) things pop up and bring back memories that you HAVE forgotten. But mostly, they are back there somewhere and can return.

At 9:43 AM , Blogger punky said...

my friend Dan thinks I should burn the CD in a ritualistic bonfire ... who's bringing the marshmallows?

At 1:55 PM , Anonymous boo augustus said...

Do the bonfire. Maybe a really hot fireman will answer the emergency call after you've set the drapes on fire.

At 1:56 PM , Blogger Tamara said...

Whaddaya mean "who"? I AM, of course!

At 2:18 PM , Blogger Leetie said...

What CD was it????

At 2:42 PM , Blogger punky said...

It was a Barry Manilow CD.

Ha. I kid.

It was a mix.

At 3:05 PM , Blogger Tamara said...

Real Conversation, from yesterday!:

Tam [in passenger seat, raising stereo volume]: Ooh! Ya know, I had this song ("Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone") stuck in my head all day yesterday.

TKB [driving]: I played this last night at the gig.

Tam: What? Before I got there?

TKB [singing]: I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know...

Tam: Oh, man, I'm sorry I missed that.

TKB: This version's okay, but this guy is kinda cheesy, don't you think? Do you know who this is?

Tam: [Acting like she knows]

TKB: Kenny G.

Tam: Oh, yeah. He's cheesy. Him and [turning around to face Munchkin in the backseat] Michael Bolton.

Munchkin: HAHAHAHA! Michael Bolton!

TKB: But you know who I think is the cheesiest?

Tam: Who?

TKB: Barry Manilow.

Tam [thinking]: You're perfect. I love you. Let's make-out.

At 3:44 PM , Anonymous Sallyacious said...


Don't toast marshmallows over the burning cd. All the bad juju will get all over them and you'll be stuck with it forever.

You could just drop it in the trash. The problem with keeping it at all is that eventually you'll be tempted to open it again and play it just to see. Or at least, I would. But then, it takes me a while to learn certain lessons.

At 5:09 PM , Blogger punky said...

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.

- Confucius

/pity party.

Next question is posted ;)

At 10:32 AM , Blogger Higgy said...

No - our memories are who we are. To erase those is to erase ourselves.

Time doesn't heal bugger. Only we heal. I actually think that since we age and grow over time, we consider time to be the root cause - whereas it is really us that's doing all the work!

I don't think you can forget - but you can get to the point where you have to actually WORK to remember it.

At 6:57 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This post reminds me of James Taylor's version of George Jones' "She Thinks I Still Care"

That may not make any sense, so sue me. I'm singing it for y'all now.


At 1:43 AM , Blogger Graz said...

Man, I frikkin' love Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. And it made me ponder in the same way.

There may be one that I would be tempted to erase, but I think when it came down to actually doing it, I would remember that I would lose more of me by losing that memory than I would care to give up.

MOst wounds it does heal, but some never fully heal....I think you just get somewhat used to it being there. Kinda like a nagging joint.

You can never forget....mostly it just gets to the point where you rarely think about it and therefor, it doesn't matter.

At 1:45 AM , Blogger Graz said...

As for James Taylor, I like the line in Country Road......

I'd have to be some kind of natural born fool
To want to pass that way again

At 7:51 AM , Blogger punky said...

I wouldn't erase a thing.

I agree that time doesn't heal us, we do.

And as for forgetting ... there were things I swore I'd never be able to forget. Things that made me so angry I wanted to hurt small woodland creatures. Interestingly enough, I can't really remember what they were. It would take a lot of effort to try and remember. And who the hell wants to?

Better to learn from the bad but remember the good, I suppose.

Thanks for all the great responses, y'all. ;)


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