Sunday, March 05, 2006

Brazil

Brazil is hot. 100 degrees and humid kind of hot. 80% of the women in Brazil - over the age of 15 - have had or will have breast augmentation surgery. The Carnaval is unlike anything you have EVER seen. Caiparinhas get you very drunk very fast. I can dance salsa ... kind of. Women of ALL shapes and sizes wear bikinis in Brazil ... it's lovely really. I speak much better Portuguese than I previously thought. 10 days goes by very fast when you are in another country. Baby lizards like steam rooms. They also like to dangle from little pinky fingers. You need no other shoes but flip-flops when you visit Brazil. You have not experienced a Churrascaria until you visit one in Brazil. There are many favelas (slums) in Brazil. Very sad. The ocean water tastes much saltier in Brazil. Brazil's mountains, vegetation and ecology is lovely. Brazil has some really delicious tropical fruit. Brazil also has many little critters that like to live in delicious tropical fruit - proceed with caution. Brazilians love a good buffet. Bad ones too. It is really hard to sleep in 100 plus degree weather with very high humidity ... so it is best not to even try. Brazilian men are not nearly as hot as they are in my dreams. I look Brazilian when I am tan. Hearts of palm are right up there with mustard on my list of foods I hate. I had many weird dreams when I actually did sleep in Brazil. When your cousin decides he hates your sunglasses, it is best to let him buy you knew ones. It save many hours of hearing him complain. And lastly ... when you travel to Brazil, be sure to hide your car keys so your 15 year old nephew doesn't decide to take it for a joy ride and crash it while you are gone.

And today's question is ... has anyone ever died from eating a bad fig?

More questions tomorrow.

7 Comments:

At 11:11 PM , Anonymous insomniac said...

punky leaves Brazil, Southern Hemisphere plunged into mourning...


xgzdecoo - Snoop Dogg does Cajun music?

 
At 2:08 AM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

*mourns* except that really I'm rejoicing.. she may have been in the Southern Hemisphere.. but she was too far away

{{{Punky}}} Welcome back!!

Sounds like you had a fabulous time! I'm so glad for you!

1. Not that I know of, although (gag warning here... )

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once when I was about 12, my mother bought some figs at the supermarket. When she got home and opened the package, she found an earwig inside. I haven't eaten figs (that I know of) since that day.

 
At 11:06 AM , Blogger Higgy said...

Welcome back, Punky!

We've stayed mostly sane during your vacation, although Bismuth rambled on a stream-of-consciousness bit on the lat thread.

Waiting on pictures, especially those of the breast augmentations - umm, wait, I mean the delicious fruit!

 
At 2:49 PM , Blogger MrFisher said...

Nah, I think it's just a FIGure of speech.

Also, I just love it when you talk Portuguese. Even when you say "Leave me alone you greasy bafoon!" it stills sounds soo HAWT.

Glad you made a safe return Punky.

Blow out any Flip Flops?

 
At 3:38 PM , Anonymous boo augustus said...

Actually, in all seriousness, I would beware of any figs offered by Livia. She had a way with that fruit. Just ask Claudius.

Brazil sounds very much like Panama. Especially in Bocas del Toro, I doubt you'd ever need anything but flip flops. Did I mention that I was there the week before last? I understand the heat. And the lizards. Found a baby one in my bed.

 
At 7:42 AM , Blogger Leetie said...

Welcome home, Punky!

 
At 10:56 PM , Anonymous Sallyacious said...

Welcome back!

I haven't died of eating a bad fig, I can't speak for anyone else.

 

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