Thursday, February 09, 2006

Question 19

1. You have been hired as a greeting card designer for a cutting edge greeting card company. You must come up with a new card for Valentine's Day. Use your endless wit, humor, sarcasm, and talent to appeal to the cynical, intelligent, witty and edgy 20 to 30 year old target market. What would be written on your card?

2. What is the best Valentine's gift you ever received?

3. And the worst?


At 5:23 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

*Paraphrasing a recent love article*

In this world of 5 billion people, I currently feel you are the best-looking, richest, smartest, funniest, kindest person who will settle for me.

Can you grab me a beer on your way to get naked?


At 8:58 PM , Anonymous insomniac said...

"I'm disinterested in you. Are you disinterested in me?" Be my Valentine.

"At the party we talked of nothing but entropy.
Till the drugs were passed round and things became grope-y.
My nipples were pierced as if by an arrow.
Your hair was so dirty and hips were so narrow,
That my parental units thought you were a boy.
I read about this feeling in books. Is it 'joy'?
And though Valentine's Day is so middle-class.
Will you be mine? Oh, you won't? Kiss my a**!

At 11:29 PM , Blogger Graz said...

1. "You wanna?

Hit my celly or text me."

2. A surprise weekend trip to Niagra Falls. It was a surprise because she packed some things for me and got me in the car, headed east and drove there. I figured it out by the time we hit the NY state line, but it was cool.

3. An introduction to an ex-girlfriends new boyfriend.....I hate those.

pfhht- the sound of blow-up love doll having an orgasm

At 4:05 AM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

*snorks at Graz, Insom & Cbol.. the unholy trinity*

How am I supposed to follow that?

My Darling....

Your brand-new Porsche is in the garage.

That would work for me. Not the first thing I thought of, though. The first thing I thought of was the lyrics to *Warning Warning Warning.. Yellow for Caution DNOAW blah blah blah* Kev's Courtin' Song by Kevin Bloody Wilson. It'd appeal to a certain segment of the young population (and I used to laugh my arse off when I was younger...), but it's a bit long to fit in a card, unless your writing is really small.

2 & 3. I don't do Valentine's Day presents.. although this time last year, I was saying to a friend (while looking in a florist's window) "If someone's going to spend THAT MUCH on me, I'd like a cord of wood for the fireplace rather than a bunch of flowers." The next afternoon, I got a phonecall from a friend of the family who was demolishing their old wooden garage, and would I like whatever wood I could use? I said yes, and one of their teen sons chopped it all into manageable bits, drove over with the wood and stacked it all in my garage.. no charge! I guess that would be my best (close to) Valentine's Day present..

At 10:03 AM , Anonymous Boo Augustus said...

1. K-Fed will be available soon.
Do you really want to be single then?


Your Breath Smells Like Cat Food.

2. Be mine. Now. Bitch.

3. I think it was a Power Rangers or Power Puff Girls card. It was cute enough, but I was 31 at the time.

At 10:24 AM , Blogger Higgy said...

1. Cover - "Yo, it's Valentine's Day!"

Inside - "Whatever".

1b. Cover - "sup? i thot i'd send u a vd txt msg b cuz I luv u"

Inside - "but my attn span is so short i forgot who u r. Bumr 4 u!"

2. Being woken up the "nicest way possible" Started the whole day off right.

3. Being handed my ass by my ex. I broke up with one on VD day back in college.

At 12:21 PM , Anonymous Bismuth said...

I personally have nothing to offer towards answering these questions. So I will share a story from one of my professors.

In this particular year, Valentine's day fell on Ash Wednesday, which is the first day of Lent. So on this Wednesday the 14th, my prof's boyfriend disclosed that he didn't have a gift for her because he was giving her up for Lent! His excuse was that he was supposed to give up something very special to him.

Imagine her response when he tried to get back together on Easter...

At 11:36 AM , Blogger slyeyes said...

1. Yo! Wanna hang?

2. Time alone together

3. Red garter belt. (who was that really for?)

At 6:19 PM , Blogger Sarah J said...

1. I would make a lovely card that didn't need words on the outside and inside said simply, "I love you." Then it wouldn't have to be just for Valentine's day, but could be used any day of the year to let someone know that you care.

2. My mom used to always give us new PJs for valentines day, probably because she never finished making them for christmas.

3. I've never had a best, so I can't have had a worst. I've never been dating anyone on v-day, and the pjs came to be expected.

At 7:53 PM , Blogger punky said...

We're going to have a baby.

Unfortunately, you're not one of the "we".


Happy Valentine's Day?


I got you a special gift this Valentine's Day.

A Vasectomy.

Ok ... maybe that gift was really for me ... but you'll grow to like it. Trust me.

Happy Valentine's Day!


I love you.

But I'm "in love" with your brother.

We both wish you a Happy Valentine's Day.


Roses are red
Violets are Blue

I'm going to bite it
If you ask me to go down on you.

Happy Valentine's Day Honey.


I have no answer for 2 or 3. I've never had a memorable Valentine's Day either way. It never mattered much to me.

At 8:52 PM , Anonymous boo augustus said...

So Punky, to what address should I have the dozen roses from your secret admirers sent?

At 10:10 PM , Blogger punky said...

If a secret admirer can find a way to mail me roses without me giving out my address, they would be worthy of consideration ... or a restraining order. But you know what they say ... you're nobody until somebody stalks you.

At 9:17 AM , Blogger Tamara said...

Whoa, Nelly! You have secret admirers, TOO?

[Heavy sigh.] So much competition...


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