Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Question 11

In a kung fu death match ... who would win?

Cyndi Lauper or Pat Benatar?

Weird Al Yankovic or Pee Wee Herman?

Vanilla Ice or Kevin Federline?

Winona Ryder or Gwyneth Paltrow?

Madonna or Wonder Woman?

Richard Gere or a Gerbil?

14 Comments:

At 2:29 PM , Blogger Tamara said...

At first, I was going to say, "Oh, wow; these are hard!"

But now I realize these are actually quite easy. The ones I like would win. The ones I don't like, would lose.

Cyndi Lauper VS. Pat Benatar: Both die

Weird Al Yankovic VS. Pee Wee Herman: Weird Al wins, because he has Harvey the Wonder-Hamster. Plus, God doesn't like Pee Wee Herman.

Vanilla Ice VS. Kevin Federline: Both suffer crippling hand-cramps from too much masturbation and are unable to compete.

Winona Ryder VS. Gwyneth Paltrow: Gwyneth Paltrow chokes Winona with her hair.

Madonna VS. Wonder Woman: Well, this one is odd, actually. See, Madonna started making out with Wonder Woman, and Wonder Woman really started getting into it, but Madonna is a selfish ho, so Wonder Woman did all the work and, consequently, Madonna won--many times over. Wonder Woman is now wholly frustrated, and I suggest everyone stay out of her way for a little while.

Richard Gere VS. a Gerbil: Wait--what kind of gerbil? African or European?

 
At 2:40 PM , Blogger punky said...

The European variety ... with beret and scarf.

 
At 3:18 PM , Blogger Sarah O. said...

1. Pat Benatar in 5 seconds.

2. Pee Wee, with Jambi's help.

3. Do not doubt the power of K-Fed. Vanilla Ice may have had Madonna but K-Fed could get $125 million out of his marriage to Brit.

4. Winona, easy. She's a bit wobbly but Gwyneth looks a bit frail.

5. Madonna IS Wonder Woman.

6. The gerbil, unless it's a Buddist. Then it'd be a draw.

 
At 5:49 PM , Blogger Higgy said...

Pat Benatar would kick Cyndi's ass.

Pee Wee would take a beating from Weird Al - but you'd have to get Al coked up or something.

Vanilla Ice would beat the white trash out of K-Fed - if that's possible.

Winona and her shoplifting ways would take out Gwyneth - but either way I'd pay to see the match.

Wonder Woman would narrowly defeat the cone-boobed younger Madonna.

He'd have to get it out of his pants before he could beat it......the gerbil, I mean....

 
At 7:05 PM , Blogger Tamara said...

"He'd have to get it out of his pants before he could beat it..."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

 
At 8:29 PM , Blogger Slyeyes said...

Cyndi
Al
Ice
Winona
Wonder Woman
Gerbil

 
At 3:58 AM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

Okay..

Pat Benetar.. better voice, better songs, she's gonna kick Cyndi seven ways till Sunday

Al.. definitely. PeeWee will be too busy focussing on his WeePee.

Ice and K-Fed.. we can only hope that they'll beat each other to death and we won't have to deal with either of them.
If I have to pick one.. I want K-Fed Dead (besides which, that rhymes..)
For more information about the awfulness of K-Fed, I (heart) this article... if you look through the archives of this site for ummmm.. I think it's in Oct 05.. they take a dig at P Diddy-Dum-Diddy-Do

Winona over Gwyneth. The knockout blow to be delivered with a purse full of stolen hardback books.

Wonder Woman. She's got the lassoo thingy.

Gerbil.. Gere's a pacifist.. he'll be easy to take out.

 
At 5:20 PM , Blogger Mad Scientist said...

Jack Bauer would shoot them all in the thigh

 
At 6:00 AM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

Chuck Norris would kick Jack Bauer's ass.. even after the double leg amputation.

 
At 8:26 AM , Anonymous Not Punky Brewster said...

Punky Brewster would kick all their asses.

Just sayin'

 
At 11:22 PM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

true.. and she'd do it wearing CFM stilettos.

 
At 2:31 PM , Blogger Kafaleni said...

for Punky... (and anyone else who knows the answer, because I keep changing my mind..)

Andy Dick or David Spade?

 
At 11:26 AM , Blogger Tamara said...

Andy Dick. He's hopped up on the super drugs. Wouldn't notice he's been hit, and would definitely fight dirty. David Spade is too laid-back; he'd just try playing dead.

 
At 11:31 AM , Anonymous Boo Augustus said...

1. Cyndi Lauper, she's feisty.

2. Pee Wee Herman, he's been working overtime building up that super kung fu grip, if you know what I mean . . . and I know you all do.

3. Vanilla Ice and Kevin Federline, I'm hoping for a tie.

4. Winona Ryder or Gwyneth Paltrow? Don't really care.

5. Madonna or Wonder Woman? I'm going with Tamara's answer.

6. The Gerbil.

 

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